OJ Simpson’s parole may be in jeopardy. Not because he’s such a vile, disgusting human being who everyone knows killed Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. Instead, his parole may be in jeopardy because OJ Simpson simply can’t stop chokin’ da chicken. OJ Simpson is from San Francisco, so I guess his actions shouldn’t cause much of a surprise to anyone.
| Rosie palms OJ Simpsons can’t stop choking’ da chicken |
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If OJ Simpson is out by 2020, he could be the Democrat nominee for president. OJ Simpson could pick some loser like Bob Filner or Anthony Weiner to be his running mate. What a perfect ticket for the Democrats!
O.J. Simpson’s parole bid could be derailed because he was caught masturbating in his cell, a federal lockup no-no, according to a new report Wednesday — but another media outlet immediately debunked the claim.
The lewd behavior is strictly forbidden at Lovelock Correctional Center, where Simpson’s been holed up on a nine-to-33-year sentence for the armed robbery of two sports memorabilia dealers, the Daily Mail said.
“OJ is facing a disciplinary hearing after being written up for masturbating in his prison cell,” a prison source told the Mail. “He was caught by a female corrections officer making her normal rounds in late June.”
Simpson will not have undergone a disciplinary hearing by Thursday, when he’ll appear via video before a four-member parole board. But the infraction could sideline the parole proceeding – or, at worst, keep him locked up until 2020.